How to Get Your Dad to Stop Sending You Racist Emails. Youve got problems, Ive got advice. This advice isnt sugar coatedin fact, its sugar free, and may even be a little bitter. Welcome to Tough Love. Youve got problems, Ive got advice. This advice isnt sugar coatedin fact, its sugar free, andRead more This week we have a son who doesnt know how to deal with his fathers often racist email chains. Keep in mind, Im not a therapist or any other kind of health professionaljust a guy whos willing to tell it like it is. I simply want to give you the tools you need to enrich your damn lives. If for whatever reason you dont like my advice, feel free to file a formal complaint here. All Along the Watchtower is a song written and recorded by American singersongwriter Bob Dylan. The song initially appeared on his 1967 album John Wesley Harding. Now then, lets get on with it. With the exception of my brother, all of my family is of the brainwashed by Fox News ilk. I am a giant bleeding heart liberal. I also have a relationship with all of them that could best be described as cordial and Ive long since given up hoping to improve that. Were just very different people and Ive made my peace with that. I keep my interaction with them on social media to a minimum in the name of keeping the peace. Several years ago I went through a round of eye roll inducing chain mail forwards from my uncle who is my dads older brother, which I began responding to with links from Snopes or other sources disproving whatever idiocy was forwarded to him. My uncle is a bully and didnt like when I did this and whined endlessly about it, but it eventually had the desired effect of getting me removed from his email forwards. Unfortunately, My uncle is also a pretty significant influence on my dad. Dads always been relatively conservative but in the last few years hes tacked hard to the right in a pretty disappointing and disgusting fashion. 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My question is, should I continue this current behavior or should I become more aggressive in trying to deter him from sending them to me Staying silent feels shitty but Im under no illusions of dad having an epiphany and realizing HEY BEING A RACIST PIECE OF SHIT ISNT FOR ME And while my relationship with my parents is lukewarm at best, I dont particularly want it to deteriorate. It feels like little potential upside with a lot of potential downside of confronting him about it, but its still tempting to try. Thanks,Not So Fortunate Son. Hey Not So Fortunate Son Silence isnt the answer here, but youre right, you shouldnt be under any illusion that you can change your dads mind. Im sure hes the set in his ways type. Youre a grown man with your own opinions of the world, and it seems like your political discussions are creating a rift that will only continue to grow as time goes on. Youre a little disappointed in your conservative, racist father. Hes a little disappointed in his bleeding heart liberal son. But that doesnt mean you cant still maintain a cordialas you put itrelationship with him. Who knows You might even be able to mend things a bit too. Might. How First, stop firing back. Dont take the bait. Your responses are just feeding the fire, Not so Fortunate Son. Then, if you cant stand watching those forwards show up in your inbox, tell him to please stop sending you those emails You do not owe your father any email fealty. Dont just shoot off an angry email in response, though. Give your request in person, or at least on the phone. He needs to know youre serious about it and not just being a whiny snowflake. Rorty Postmodern Bourgeois Liberalism Pdf To Word. Its time to be brave and stand up for yourself, kid. When he asks why or gives you shit about itand this is vitalbe very serious and tell him its because youre family and you love him, but you feel like this behavior is creating a gap in your relationship and you dont want it to get any wider than you feel it already is. He needs to know. He might be on the other end of the spectrum, but that doesnt mean he cant be somewhat understanding when it comes to his own kin. Tell him youd be happy to receive an email, call, or text from him as long as its not about politics. Tell him youd rather talk about the good ol days if there were any, sports, hunting, cars, movies, anything else. Or plan a father son activity to reconnect and give both of you a chance to understand each other a bit better. You must escape the political news tug of war Focus on what you like about your father, if anything, and go from there. Email chains are never a good way to really communicate or understand someone, so dont let that become the focus of your relationship. If that doesnt work, and he doesnt stop, block his emailsthen tell him you did. You gotta do whats right for you and your happiness, but he still needs to know. And this process shouldt be one final attack, a coup de grceno, youre bowing out. Youre different peopleyouve made your peace with thatso let him think hes won and move on. Dont poke the bear, let him eat, and move on to greener pastures. Hopefully one where you and your dad can have a catch and focus on finding some less racist middle ground. Every family has that one relative that cant stop forcing their controversial political stancesRead more Thats it for this week, but I still have plenty of blunt, honest advice bottled up inside. Tell me, whats troubling youIs work getting you down Are you having problems with a friend or a coworker Is your love life going through a rough patchDo you just feel lost in life, like you have no direction Tell me, and maybe I can help. I probably wont make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but sometimes what you need is some tough love. Ask away in the comments below, or email me at the address you see at the bottom of the page please include ADVICE in the subject line. Or tweet at me with Tough. Love Also, DO NOT EMAIL ME IF YOU DONT WANT YOUR REQUEST FEATURED. I do not have time to respond to everyone just for funsies. Til next time, figure things out for yourself.